Nathan Parsons 
(James from True Blood)
I could gladly spend eternity banging this dude, I’d even tolerate his hippie bullshit and maybe even learn to hug a fucking tree or two. If I was Jessica, and I caught him and Lafayette out, I’d have gladly stayed around to watch and eat crisps (or vampire equivalent). Or lick some balls, or whatever.

Nathan Parsons

(James from True Blood)

I could gladly spend eternity banging this dude, I’d even tolerate his hippie bullshit and maybe even learn to hug a fucking tree or two. If I was Jessica, and I caught him and Lafayette out, I’d have gladly stayed around to watch and eat crisps (or vampire equivalent). Or lick some balls, or whatever.

(Source: darkhairedbeardedmen)

Tom Selleck
Phone : Ring, Ring, etc.
Me: Myello?
Tom Selleck: Hi, this is 1980’s Tom Selleck.
Me: Obviously, why wouldn’t it be?
Tom Selleck: You’re not even shocked.
Me: I’m impressed….oh wait, you’re from the 80’s, you wouldn’t…there’s this movie about this guy who’s an anchorman, it’s called Anchorman, and..sorry…go on…
Tom Selleck: Let’s not bother with the details we need to make this even remotely plausible, because that would make the blog post way too long. Let’s just say you get your pretty little ass in a time machine which I have conveniently arranged to be delivered to your house, and meet me here in Hawaii, wearing nothing but a smile and a hat at a jaunty angle. I like hats.
Me: And I like 1980’s Tom Selleck.
Is how that would go, kind of, leaving out some pretty important details about ‘how’ and ‘why’, but leaving the ‘me and 1980’s Selleck would have *so* much sex,  I’d end up with some sort of moustache ride injury. A *sexy* moustache ride injury’.

**I realise he doesn’t have a beard, but I figure his lip beard and his chest beard and the fact that he’s Tom Selleck are enough. Right? Riiiight?

Tom Selleck

Phone : Ring, Ring, etc.

Me: Myello?

Tom Selleck: Hi, this is 1980’s Tom Selleck.

Me: Obviously, why wouldn’t it be?

Tom Selleck: You’re not even shocked.

Me: I’m impressed….oh wait, you’re from the 80’s, you wouldn’t…there’s this movie about this guy who’s an anchorman, it’s called Anchorman, and..sorry…go on…

Tom Selleck: Let’s not bother with the details we need to make this even remotely plausible, because that would make the blog post way too long. Let’s just say you get your pretty little ass in a time machine which I have conveniently arranged to be delivered to your house, and meet me here in Hawaii, wearing nothing but a smile and a hat at a jaunty angle. I like hats.

Me: And I like 1980’s Tom Selleck.

Is how that would go, kind of, leaving out some pretty important details about ‘how’ and ‘why’, but leaving the ‘me and 1980’s Selleck would have *so* much sex,  I’d end up with some sort of moustache ride injury.
 A *sexy* moustache ride injury’.

**I realise he doesn’t have a beard, but I figure his lip beard and his chest beard and the fact that he’s Tom Selleck are enough. Right? Riiiight?

(Source: darkhairedbeardedmen)

Ricki Hall
"I just. Ugh. I just thought we’d have had sex by now."
Me too, Ricki Hall, me too.

Ricki Hall

"I just. Ugh. I just thought we’d have had sex by now."

Me too, Ricki Hall, me too.

(Source: darkhairedbeardedmen)

Common
I. Words. None. Ok.

Common

I. Words. None. Ok.

(Source: darkhairedbeardedmen)

Pedro Pascall (Oberyn Martell/The Red Viper)
Let’s just say….I would totally milk that viper of its venom.

Pedro Pascall (Oberyn Martell/The Red Viper)

Let’s just say….I would totally milk that viper of its venom.

(Source: darkhairedbeardedmen)

Sam, who runs the Australian Beard Appreciation Society
"Hi, I’m a soldier with a luxurious beard, and I adopt stray dogs."
How incredibly convenient, I happen to have some puppies in my shirt that need to be adopted, by your mouth.

You can find Sam and other beards here
https://www.facebook.com/australianbeardappreciationsociety

Sam, who runs the Australian Beard Appreciation Society

"Hi, I’m a soldier with a luxurious beard, and I adopt stray dogs."

How incredibly convenient, I happen to have some puppies in my shirt that need to be adopted, by your mouth.

You can find Sam and other beards here

https://www.facebook.com/australianbeardappreciationsociety

(Source: darkhairedbeardedmen)

Christoph Waltz
I’m not sure if it’s his outstanding performances in every film ever, his eyes, or his accent, but I would totally get on my Vie-knees for him.

Christoph Waltz

I’m not sure if it’s his outstanding performances in every film ever, his eyes, or his accent, but I would totally get on my Vie-knees for him.

(Source: darkhairedbeardedmen)

Chet Faker

's voice.

No, Chet, I’m into *you*.

(Source: darkhairedbeardedmen)

Idris Elba 
Oh…what..how….have you seen my panties? I swear I had them on just a moment ago. I seem to have dropped them. Oh well, I guess, seeing as they’re off, we should probably accidentally have sex.

Idris Elba

Oh…what..how….have you seen my panties? I swear I had them on just a moment ago. I seem to have dropped them. Oh well, I guess, seeing as they’re off, we should probably accidentally have sex.

(Source: darkhairedbeardedmen)

Peter MacPherson
pron. Pee-ter Mac-Please-Take-Your-Pants-Off.
Origin. Native to Isle of Wight (probably), possesses dimples and a great set of wits.
verb. To tire out or exhaust. I’m Petered out, after having Peter in.

My vagina.


You’re welcome.

Peter MacPherson

pron. Pee-ter Mac-Please-Take-Your-Pants-Off.

Origin. Native to Isle of Wight (probably), possesses dimples and a great set of wits.

verb. To tire out or exhaust. I’m Petered out, after having Peter in.

My vagina.

You’re welcome.

(Source: darkhairedbeardedmen)