Phone : Ring, Ring, etc.
Tom Selleck: Hi, this is 1980’s Tom Selleck.
Me: Obviously, why wouldn’t it be?
Tom Selleck: You’re not even shocked.
Me: I’m impressed….oh wait, you’re from the 80’s, you wouldn’t…there’s this movie about this guy who’s an anchorman, it’s called Anchorman, and..sorry…go on…
Tom Selleck: Let’s not bother with the details we need to make this even remotely plausible, because that would make the blog post way too long. Let’s just say you get your pretty little ass in a time machine which I have conveniently arranged to be delivered to your house, and meet me here in Hawaii, wearing nothing but a smile and a hat at a jaunty angle. I like hats.
Me: And I like 1980’s Tom Selleck.
Is how that would go, kind of, leaving out some pretty important details about ‘how’ and ‘why’, but leaving the ‘me and 1980’s Selleck would have *so* much sex, I’d end up with some sort of moustache ride injury.
A *sexy* moustache ride injury’.
**I realise he doesn’t have a beard, but I figure his lip beard and his chest beard and the fact that he’s Tom Selleck are enough. Right? Riiiight?